FROM THE DESK OF
DONA PENZA TATTLE, ESQ.
ASSOCIATE WRYE BALDERDASH
Tattle dragged Wrye onto the porch to view her handiwork in the garden. "Isn't it wonderful? April showers do bring May flowers."
Wrye squinted and looked closely. "Errrr, they're all silk, not real flowers."
Crossing her arms over her chest, Tattle pouted. "They are too real, and I paid real money for them."
"Ummm, yes, sure, right, but what about the reference to April showers?"
"I just got them (and planted them) on the first of May so logically that means because of the April rain and my dislike of shopping in storms, I couldn't get them until May."
Wrye's recently developed tick goes wild. "Huh?"
"Oh, never mind, let's focus on our Love of Literature Leap."
And they do.
“Errr, where are we?” asked Tattle while holding her nose. “And what is that stench?”
“On a boat and bass.” A fishing rod appeared out of nowhere, and Wrye cast a line. “Know what they call a fish that won’t shut up?” He doesn’t wait for a response. “A big mouth bass.”
“Bass…bass…bass,” Tattle tapped her finger to her head. “Ohhh, we’re in CHAIN REACTION by Richard Hacker, which is a Nick Sibelius Mystery.”
“You got it, gal. Now, move aside and let the master work.”
Tattle snapped her finger, the fishing rod disappeared along with the boat. “Exactly! Look at that.” They suddenly find themselves in a scene where Nick was grabbing a man named Dillion by the shoulders and shaking him.
Wrye ignored Nick and Dillion. “I’m looking at the lovely lady, Dolores. She’s tearing up, poor thing.” He moved toward her as if about to put a comforting arm around her.
Tattle gave him a Pembroke Corgi nudge and Wrye stumbled away. “Rule one, don’t get involved with the characters. Besides, that is what Nick is for, and Dolores’s pouty adorable expression is softening Nick’s heart and we all know he’s gonna get tangled up in her troubles, which also happens to be the country’s troubles.”
“Which involves secessionists, drones, and a serial killer, oh my.” Wrye stared wistfully at Dolores.
Grabbing Wrye’s hand, Tattle deliberately caused them to leap into another chapter. “And all because he took on a client who seemed to be involved in an apparent bass fisherman grudge match. That leads to a secessionist plot headed by Bruce Reynolds, who intends to create the independent nation of Texas.”
“Nick being Nick with Nick luck ends up being recruited to head a task force to defeat such a maneuver, and is being faced with the impossible task of eliminating the drone air force under Reynolds’ control, Governor Fran Adamson’s political career and a client’s murder.”
“We talking Civil War and the possible break up between himself and his love, Theresa?”
“Not if Nick has any say about it.”
“Look! A castle,” declared Tattle. “I love castles.” Even as she said it, the duet appeared in an elaborate throne room.
Wyre settled a jeweled crown on his head and strutted about, waving graciously as if the room were full of royal subjects. “Like a little romance with your suspense?”
“Do rabbits like chocolate?”
The crown disappeared, and an eyebrow was raised. “Rabbits don’t eat chocolate, they prefer carrots.”
“Well, some rabbits are made of chocolate, and are delicious.” With a defensive stance, Tattle yanked a sword off the wall and fenced with the air.
Wrye’s tick returned, following Tattle’s logic was never a wise option. “Anyway, we are in the historical suspense, DARK DAYS by R. J. HORE, where the lovely Queen Nefasti is barely holding on to her kingdom.”
“Yup, there she is with war threatening and declared suitors worming their way into her presence if not her heart, although, there is that one who is kinda cute.” Tattle winked at the leader of a neighboring kingdom but of course, the character can’t see her.
“Rule two, m’flirtatious gossip monarch, don’t get involved with the characters.”
“Wasn’t!” Tattle gave the wide-eyed innocent stare. The sword flew into the rafters and stayed there, floating. “I think Nefasti should though, or at least someone gallant and protective, considering her closest friend and guardian is about to leave, a dear lady-in-waiting is on the verge of suicide, and not all the gold and jewels being offered her can change the fact that many want her dead.”
“Assassins?” Wrye whipped aside a curtain and glared into the emptiness. “No one here.”
“Ahhh, but they are in nooks, crannies and shadows. Trrrrouuubbble, for certain.”
“With seemingly no way out.”
“Knife! The queen is able to be stabbed.”
Wrye jumped into the pages, but Tattle yanked him back out. “Sorry, Sir Wyre Galahad, we can’t interfere.”
What an enjoyable leap! We do so enjoy our gossipy travels….errr investigative travels into the world of CBG books. So much so, we are looking forward to a new venture by occasionally reviewing a book. Then we can get the real dirt…ummm, we mean, plot.
Have a wonderful May, and pick some flowers, even the silk ones, they last forever.
Dona Penza Rutabaga Tattle, Esq.
and Associate Wrye Balderdash
of Blather City, Wannachat
Created and written by
Angelica Hart and Zi
Books by Angelica Hart and Zi
KILLER DOLLS ~ SNAKE DANCE ~
CHASING YESTERDAY ~ CHRISTMAS EVE...VIL
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