FROM THE DESK OF
DONA PENZA TATTLE, ESQ.
ASSOCIATE WRYE BALDERDASH
Wyre placed a stack of sandwich cookies on his desk, meticulously scraped out the middle and replaced it with toothpaste then put them on a plate. He worked so intensely, he didn’t notice Tattle had walked into the office.
He quickly hid the toothpaste. “Thought you’d like some cookies with your tea. I’ll even make some Constant Comment for you.”
“Oh my, aren’t you nice. No cream, two sugars.” She whipped a box out from behind her back, and offered it to him. “I guess it is be nice to your fellow worker day. I stopped at the bakery and got you a cream filled donut.”
He grinned. “Yum!” After coffee and tea was set out, he opened the little box, took a big bite of the donut and quickly spit it out into the trash can. “Ewww, was that toothpaste?”
“April Fools.” She grinned, bit into her cookie then repeated Wrye’s action.
They laughed at each other and Tattle shook her head. “Guess we have both played the fool… Silly Wrye, tricks are for kids.”
“And a puny to boot. Let’s just do our Love of Literature Leap, and forget this ever happened. Deal?”
“Ooooh, I like her hair. Purple is my fav color.”
“That’s Nancy from MAGIC WITHIN by Sara Fitzgerald, a young adult paranormal novel.”
Tattle realized they had never touched the ground, but were floating above it, riding broom sticks. “Let me guess, she’s a witch?”
Wrye attempted to balance himself on the broom, and ended up upside down. After muttering a few pagan cusses about gods with a bad sense of humor, he said, “A good witch, with a good heart, who doesn’t quite understand the magic within her, and that confusion could cost her the chance to love.”
Thinking Wrye’s balancing act was deliberate, she turned herself upside down, too. “This is fun!”
“That’s not!” He pointed to a scene unfolding below them, righted himself and floated a little closer.
“Oh my no…no…no… something really nasty is about to happen.”
“That’s Josh,” Wrye’s brow furrowed with worry. “Nancy made a potion for him to stop him and a couple of others from morphing into werewolves.”
Taking initiative, Tattle jumped into the storyline and scanned a few pages. “It doesn’t seem to be working, well, at least not on Josh. The other two aren’t changing and he is. He secretly wanted the strength and confidence of Eric, a werewolf. Yet, he never thought himself evil. Nor, do I think he really wants to be a monster.”
“But he is chhhhaaannnggging, which means he wants this to happen, otherwise, the potion will work.”
Tattle searched the faces of the characters, from Josh’s sister Samantha to Nancy to Nick, who kept Nancy close. Suddenly, horror filled Tattle’s eyes. “Gun!”
Wrye’s head shot around, (no pun intended) his broomstick followed and he nearly toppled off. “What gun?”
“Nick has a gun and he’s going to shoot Josh.”
“Will he? Really?”
“I don’t know…but I can read further.”
“No you don’t! Time to leap.”
“This is beautiful.” Tattle looked around at the lush but harsh landscape before them and the muscular hunk of man just a short distance away. “And he is yummy hot-hot-hot.” She licked her finger, pressed it to the air and made a sizzling sound.
“Who's he?” Wrye posed like a Highland prince decked out in an appropriate kilt. “Or is it moi?”
She hummed a few notes of The Impossible Dream, then thought herself mean and cut herself off, “Actually, I was thinking of Niall MacIan, the captivating hero of HIGHLAND SOLUTION by Ceci Giltenan, an historical romance.”
“Ah, I know the honorable clan leader well.”
Tattle looked skeptical with a single brow raised. “Hmmm, you do, huh, soooo who is he?”
“A good man, with a bruised heart and a full mistrust of women, who needs his near empty coffers filled to keep his clan from poverty." Wrye checked under his kilt and blushed.
“Oooh, and there is the sweet Lady Katherine Ruthven who is wilting away on the vine.”
“The matrimonial vine, m’Tartan Friend. Though she is pretty and sweet, her uncle is bent on sending her to a nunnery.” Puts up a halting finger to stop Wrye for asking what they both think obvious. “Not that sort of working ladies nunnery but the holy convent sort of nunnery.”
“Ahhh, the poor lass, but why?”
Tattle interrupted. “What else, her title and lands. However, King David II intervenes for kingdom reasons and decides by wedding MacIan and the lovely lady, everyone gets what they want. The uncle his title and lands, the King a stronger alliance, MacIan, the Lady’s substantial dowry.”
Settling himself on a rock, Wrye’s eyes grow wide at the cold bite to his undercarriage. “And just what does the Lady Katherine get?” Answering his own question. “A husband who finds all women cunning and selfish?”
“Or a love that might last forever? One will never know unless they venture forth into the pages of this best-seller.”
“Let’s do it!”
“We shall, but later….”
"We're not in Kansas anymore," announces Wrye as they find themselves in the historical romance,
FLOWER OF PASSION by Rose Lerma.
"Indeed we are not," confirms Tattle. "And this book is from CBG's backshelf. It looks like so much fun." She points to Aster Hampton, looking gorgeous and confident but only for a few sentences. She collides right into Adam McCallister and seemingly a predestined date with a mud puddle.
"Poor dear, this isn't the way Aster wanted her debut home to be. She had every intention of allowing her new poise to overcome her nickname, Aster Disaster. Then this lout had to walk into her path."
"For a lout, he's a hottie even covered in mud. Yummy!" Tattle winced as Aster popped him in the eye with her fist. "Hmmm, he's taken that well. Hmmm, hmmm, he is actually intrigued. Goody for him."
"He is also a man on a mission to find a wife, one that he's attracted to, one that he is compatible with, and one he doesn't love."
"What! No love, is the man insane?"
"Thinks love turns a man gutless." Ah, a fun book that yanked at sentimentality, enflamed senses, brought out the flaws and endearments of not just love but of family."
Noting Wrye has the look of someone getting ready to settle down for a good read, she dragged him back into a leap, "Time to go!"
Back in the office, Tattle produces a fresh box filled with donuts. “A peace offering.”
“And waste more than one perfectly good sweet, no way!”
Another month has gone and come, and we can’t wait to see what next month holds in our literary travels. We hope you have enjoyed our snoopy treat of CBG books. Until next time, keep reading!
Happy Spring and Easter.
Dona Penza Rutabaga Tattle, Esq.
and Associate Wrye Balderdash
of Blather City, Wannachat
Created and written by
Angelica Hart and Zi
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